Unicorns and Midnight Bread

There are so many things to love…

Unicorns, because what’s not to love about unicorns, I mean, seriously. Have you ever tried not to love a unicorn? I’m pretty sure it can’t be done.

Huckleberry berry who loves cheese and pancakes and…well, just about everything.

Cookies!! All kinds, warm from the oven with a glass of icy milk at anytime of the day! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – cookies are in fact the world’s most perfect food. When things are bad and getting worse…keep a cookie in your purse.

Reading…the feel of a book in my hands, the way words come together, and thoughts meant just for me…

Grinning your way through a box of baby pictures. Such kissable cheeks!

Being awakened at midnight by the aroma of fresh bread baking. It doesn’t happen often but oh, when it does…

Dobby’s sweet attentive eyes, oh, how they melt me…

Kind encouragement at the end of a long day…

Coming through the door and knowing without a doubt that you were missed. Noses and tails don’t keep secrets very well.

Storytime! Shining faces and songs and onomatopoeias! Try saying this five times fast…I dare you…try saying it once. It’ll make you feel better. I promise.

“Squeech squooch! Squeech squooch! The sloppy-gloppy, lily-loppy, slurpy-glurpy swamp!”

Tissues that are softer than soft when you have need of them.

A gentle blanket of white sky, so many clouds that they aren’t even clouds anymore. Then breezes that come and stir them until they are pillow soft clouds once more…what they are meant to be.

1000 shades of green that decorate the spring, more than there are even words to describe! Mother nature’s way of letting your eye rest. No need to decide if you like it or not, if it makes you happy or sad. Just a soft place to land…we all need that sometimes…a soft place to land.

Sipping sweet iced tea out of a clear blue mason jar with a twist of lemon.

Songs that touch your soul and carry you…

Anything and everything that’s fridge-worthy! The outside of the fridge, not the inside…wink. One day perhaps I’ll post about fridge-worthy.

Robin red breast has returned to the yard after a long long absence. I missed him and am happy to see him back again.

Drifting thoughts on a slow porch swing…

Visiting the museum and finding yourself so enchanted that you become quite helpless in the presence of so much beauty…

Once a year flowers that bring such joy and surprise that you will go out of your way for them…

Making a wish upon the first evening star…

Driving miss daisy on a brilliant day, open to the wind, taking the hills and the curves of today’s journey…just today’s.

Watching Bobolicious trying Not to get wet at the lake! I’d rather not, thank you. I don’t understand why y’all have to go and get all messy like. Ugh.

When your imagination flies free, taking you to a tiny white cottage on the top of a hill where absolutely anything can be…

Sleeping Beauty, sigh…I can still hear Mary Martin sing “Once Upon a Dream”… and I still begin to dance when I do…

My own dear woods of course, and wandering beneath their cathedral of trees.

I love… kindness, and meeting life with passion and a gentle nature and giggles and all sorts of things that won’t all fit in this one space…

within, behind, over, under and hugging them all is love. That’s what I love most of all…love…

won’t you tell me all the things that you love…

suzanne❤️

****

ellie894 March 22,2018

storybook quote from Looking for a Moose by Phyllis Root

loving you…

When you awaken

To a love you never knew

There I will be…

***

When you stand strong

For those who cannot for themselves

There I will be…

***

When you lift a little one

So she can touch the stars

There I will be…

***

When you search forever

In the worldly knot of time

There I will be…

***

When your branches entwine and twirl

In reaching for the brilliant sky

There I will be…

***

When your treasured moments

Burn bright with fiery promise

There I will be…

***

When your winding path

Feels far too far and far too long

There I will be…

***

When you are softly resting

Amidst the flutter of tender wings

There I will be…

***

When your soulful heart

Journeys atop the crested ocean waves

There I will be…

***

When you pause in wonder

To gaze at small things never seen

There i will be…

***

When your thoughts are lost

In the honeyed strings of a pleasing violin

There I will be…

***

When your fingers dance

In time with a graceful arch

There I will be…

***

When you find at last

Your golden grail

There i will be…

Always,

The loving wine within your cup…

****

ellie894 March 2018

Savannah

I have been touched deeply by loss this week. Each time I pick up my pen only one word makes it all the way out…

Savannah…

Tears are already at the edges of me…

I have given up more times than I can count. I walk away not knowing where to begin or what, if anything I can say. My thoughts are heavy and yet floating just out of reach. helpless.

Savannah, a beautiful young woman inside and out took her life this week.

I cannot stop thinking of her and of everyone who knew her.

I am Savannah’s best friend from first grade. We ate lunch side by side everyday and giggled over Green Eggs and Ham. When she was home sick my days were long and lonesome.

I am Savannah’s fifth grade math teacher. Her homework was messy and sometimes late but her laughing eyes were a bright spot in my life.

I am Savannah’s first kiss. We were both so scared. I’m glad it was her. I hope that she was glad it was me.

I am Savannah’s dear friend. I’ll never see The Birdcage without thinking of her. That funny part she liked so much we had to rewind and watch it over again. The next time, I’ll have a tissue handy, just in case.

I am Savannah’s best friend. How will I ever go back and walk through our shared home. The last time I saw her she said…

I am Savannah’s mother, numb with heartbreak.

And Savannah…

I am everyone who ever knew Savannah. I am everyone she ever touched with her smile. Life will never be the same.

It is so short.

Even when life is long, it is short. Over and again that truth finds me. It’s a lesson I tire of learning.

Where were you the first time you learned that life was short?

Was it a happy moment? Ten years old blowing dandelion wishes…with a puff of breath they were gone…but they carried your dreams along with them…and so it felt hopeful.

Or was it a day of heartbreak full of thorns that left you with scars.

One keeps on. The woods are blessedly nearby and I have energetic companions who remind me to live this day, this one day in front of me in the best way that I can.

My path stretches before me. One step at a time…each one brings me closer to healing. Between the trees…cross the creek…through the fence…into the meadow…under wide open skies.

It is brilliant blue today and the sun is gentle and warming. The wind is stirring and musical. Just behind me the breeze suddenly gathers the dry leaves from the ground sending them whirling like a dervish many feet into the air…until they pass me by…and are gone…

No doubt this truth will come into my life again. Each time it’s just a little bit different. Every time it hurts.

But, it always reminds me…

Life is short…

Eat cookies for dinner, warm from the oven with ice cold milk.

Pour a glass of wine, take it to the porch swing and listen to the birds.

Stop saving your favorite dress. Wear it just because it’s Tuesday.

Laugh with those you care about. Cry with them too.

Hold hands at the zoo.

Blow iridescent bubbles and watch them until they land.

Roll down the windows, turn up the music and go for a drive to feel the wind blow in your hair.

Smile.

You are far more important to more people than you will ever know. Tell them what they mean to you…because you still can…

do it all for Savannah

with love, suzanne ❤️

********

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide please reach out for help.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/united-kingdom-suicide-hotlines.html

http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/india-suicide-hotlines.html

http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/australia-suicide-hotlines.html

Could you ever…

Gusty winds brush clouds away. Delicious stars sing the story of once… Cozy up and listen to the notes they play…

Tuck one foot up beside me…the other rests on the ground… heel…toe…heel…toe… never making a sound… it keeps the swing persuading … gently… to and fro… thoughts … they drift now … as on we go …

I fell into a starry night…caressed by clouds above the woods…it held me soft and asked me if I could…

Could you see…

Circling strokes with brilliant ease. Hear colors whirling in the breeze. Cool night air is thick with paint in dreamy shades of blue. I placed them there…lovingly for you…

Could you feel…

In a moment of unbridled passion the wind calls out and teases the leaves to dance. The trees…they answer… with an arch and a sway that beckons the wind in wild romance…

Could you hear…

Flashes and clashes of fiery yellow…heat up the night…as a bow across strings…stars echo the rhythm…and wordlessly ring…

Could you taste…

Traces of silver slide evermore…through open window to reach the floor…as white as cream…velvety true…sweetly, sir moonbeam…kisses you…

All keep time to eternal song… color and wind and violin…

Will you sing along…

Could you hear a painting… could you see a song… could you feel love upon the wind…lasting forever long…

Gliding on the porch swing…to and fro…to and fro…

Could you ever…

********

ellie894 February 2018