This morning well before six a.m. I read that time is a circus always packing up and moving away, that nursery fare is supreme comfort and that a story has permission to go anywhere it wants to…

I’ve never liked the circus much. While I’m mesmerized by the talent and strength of the human performers, as a whole the circus of my childhood leaves me sad. I don’t mind watching it move away. Time will never be a still thing and I’m good with that.

Oh to have a day of nursery fare! I Love Lucy on tv, pjs and my favorite soup with melty cheese crackers on the side. A Jammy day! Jack is good at those. He curls up nearby and gladly helps me part with my cheesey saltines. I confess he stares a lot until the yummies are gone. But eventually he closes his peepers and we both nap. It reminds me of my Mimi. I would stay with her sometimes when my Papa was away at the farm. She was safe then from his hands that could be hurtful.

I could sleep as late as I wanted to in the coziest bed! Mimi grew up in Chicago. She knew how to layer a bed for warmth and comfort. She let me stay in my jammies and eat breakfast on a TV tray. And she taught me to crochet…hand work…to take a tiny bit of yarn and create something beautiful…

Where will this story go. I’m not sure yet. All of mine seem to wander around. I always wonder if I’m hard to follow. Nevertheless, there I am…

I didn’t sleep especially well. I hope today will be a good one and not just for myself. We often hope that don’t we…for a good one…whatever the One happens to be.

Hoping for clear skies and kindness

For moonbeams and sweet dreams

….to always find us…

We hope for ourselves and for others at the same time. There it is again, that time thing, packing up and moving away.

I hope that you can rest, that your pizza will be full of your favorite toppings, that you had a Mimi whose fridge always had sweet tea in it, and that the music will soothe you…

Hope falls somewhere between desire and wishing. It’s the embodiment of who you are and how you love the world. It knows the longing of your soul and writes the words that make it real. Desire paints the masterpiece in your heart, and wishing lights up not only the night sky but the whole world around you.

Hope sort of takes the two, desire and wishing, and builds a bridge between them…lays the stones for the one to reach the other. Beethoven does that with a brilliance I can hardly imagine. Every note he has left us is a symphony of hope. He created movements of beauty in the emptiness between desire and wishing. ….and floods my soul with hope.

Renoir does it too…such stunning joyful colors! Even with my eyes closed, the rubies and emeralds and sapphires take my breath away. And Van Gogh…with his passion filled brush. He welcomes my tears as well as my dancing. Vincent tells me that both are ok, both have a place and a time….His creations are all about the movement of the soul. I can feel his paintings sweeping straight into the depths of my heart…. moving is a lovely thing, taking one and bringing another

Beauty arrives in many a disguise. We have only to open the door and let it cross the threshold bearing its precious gifts. Perhaps for you it comes as Corey Taylor’s voice or Kavanaugh’s poetry or Kokoschka’s art. And that’s all very good. It is as it should be.

Ellie is a pup again when she hears the tin of oatmeal cookies open. Bo is a speed demon to my side when he hears the toaster pop. Jack only and always wants to be near whether there is a favorite snack or not. And Dobby is a master at waiting for my return…from anywhere…even from just down to the mailbox!

I’m grateful for cloudy skies, morning thoughts, soft flannel sheets in the winter, and learning to crochet. The circus is all packed up now. Scrambled eggs and cinnamon toast are waiting for me. This story, if you can call it that, has ventured to all the places that I guess it wanted to go. Permission granted….I’m grateful for that too…

****

ellie894 July 9, 2019

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61 thoughts on “permission granted…

  1. Gorgeous. Your words are either getting better all the time or I’m getting more adept at reading them. Or both! Either way, I find myself submitting to them and allowing images and feelings to form in my mind. Your pictures help with that too. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing them. ☘️🌿🌹

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  2. I like that little bit of a stick your pup captured. 😂 Really beautiful photos and a lovely meander through memories and thoughts. When my daughters were kiddos we would occasionally declare a “Snow Day” (we live in southern California, no snow) which meant they didn’t have to go to school and we’d watch old classic movies, eat junk food and lay around in our jammies. We all need a “Snow Day” now and then.

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  3. I’ve always thought about asking you this, Suzanne. How does life feel like when surrounded by these sweet and thoughtful and funny creatures. Every now and then I get a glimpse into those beautiful moments that you share with us. It soothes the heart and makes me dream. Take care ❤️

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    1. Such a sweet question…they always greet me joyfully when I come home. They do silly things that make me laugh. Sometimes they frustrate me 🙃. When I’m sad they snuggle close. They delight me everyday and I cannot imagine being without them. Thank you dear Isabelle. Take care ❤️

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      1. What a lovely thing to have these thoughtful and loyal friends around you, Suzanne! I’d love to watch them do silly things. Only the thought makes me giggle…❤️

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yarn!! I love it and stitching too, knitting and crochet and more! Yarn shops with walls of color and textures, absolutely delightful! I would love such a visit! Do take care 😊❤️

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      1. Kavitha, please forgive the lateness of this reply. I’m afraid your comment went to spam and I just now found it. Just like you, I crochet mostly for peace of mind and to give away. Is there any special charitable crochet you enjoy doing? I think some places like certain patterns or items.

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      2. Me too! How lovely to stitch with such warm reasons. Do you have any favorite patterns? Right now I’m working on a yellow and white granny square baby blanket. I just keep going round and round until it will be generous enough for a baby. 😊

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