I perch here at the island with my spiral open and waiting before me. Always waiting … ink glides across the lined paper with only a little effort. Words form one sweet letter at a time. Healthy pauses. Renewed thought. Words traveling more up than down. They are like the weight of a stone slowing me and yet… lifting me. I wonder if they come stronger with pain. Or, not really. They are the same thoughts after all…strung together like carefully knotted pearls. A lovely circle, never perfect…
once upon a time…
Each pearl was specially chosen and placed. String was laid out. By the hand of a master they were tied together, forever as one. They were not slid haphazardly in a line leaving them to bump and scrape at one another. That is a good way to lose them all. No. One pearl. One nearly invisible knot of love. Alternating, first one and then the other. One iridescent beauty. One common bit of white. The one to shine. The other to hold. All at once they come together as one treasured whole!
Then, one day…a very fragile place wears thin…breaks wide. But, because of the knots, one doesn’t lose everything. Without them there would be a chaos of bouncing and rolling, hither and yon…gone forever. The one pearl at the breaking point must be gathered and saved. The rest remain tightly together.
The eternal circle is only a line now. It may be laid out and admired but it can no longer be worn. Put them away for a long while. It is too painful to look upon them and to remember. At first there is only the brokenness. One separated from the others and rather lost. A deep sigh. Wrap them tenderly in tissue and tuck them away in a special place.
They will wait. Until…you are ready. One day you think of them and know. It is time…a search for the tissue wrapped treasure ensues. Unfolded so gently with a beating heart. It has been so long. There they wait in a lovely heap not looking as broken as you remembered. A sweet dawn of hope embraces you. You had almost forgotten how very much they favored tiny full moons at rest in your palm. Oh… their familiar coolness so refreshing to the touch brings a warm smile.
The delicate undertaking begins. The solitary task of starting anew. An empty space in which to create. Light to see what lies before you. A lifetime of lessons reminding you of your own true north. The softest music. The surest hand to guide both pearls and thread. They wait. You wait. Waiting only for a gentle touch to bring them whole again.
Painstakingly, one at a time the tiniest knot is created between each pearl. Almost invisible, it surrenders all of its fame to the pearl it protects. The silky white thread bestows space. Each pearl is free! Free to be quietly unto itself while still keeping a special place as part of the whole. Therein lies the gentle strength of the knot. The smallest bit of string unnoticed on most days, wisely and carefully tied creates the most loving bond between each precious full moon.
The pearl held forever by the strong knotted silk. Oh, how lovingly they come together… circle upon circle always…
Enough time has past. You are ready once more to enjoy their beauty. One was very nearly lost. With patience and loving care they have come round into the circle they were always meant to be.
Only you hold the memory of the broken place and of the one that was almost lost. A single tear falls for that long ago moment as you clasp them around your neck…afraid to look in the mirror. A smile that nods tenderly to the sorrows of the past just as surely as it reaches hopefully to the future. Take them between your fingers, a gentle back and forth just to remind yourself they are really there, where they should be.
the end…
no, never the end.
that which is most dear will never be lost if you will only knot it lovingly in your heart and wait…
always and forever the beginning…
ellie894 